Sleep is not just a luxury, it’s a necessity, for both kids and parents. Yet for many families, restful nights feel more like a myth than reality. As a mom of three (and an OT by training), I’ve learned that teaching kids to sleep well isn’t about luck, it’s about skill-building, consistency, and understanding their needs.
This post shares the core beliefs, strategies, and insights that helped our family build strong sleep habits from infancy through toddlerhood.
Sleep Is a Learned Skill
Just like crawling, eating, and potty training, sleep is something children learn over time. It’s not automatic, and it’s not instinctual for all babies. Some children will naturally fall into a pattern, but many need to be taught how to wind down, self-soothe, and fall asleep on their own.
Babies aren’t born knowing how to fall asleep independently, it’s a developmental process. The way we respond and what we teach becomes their internal sleep blueprint. Whether you rock them, nurse them, or lay them down awake, that pattern becomes the expectation.
Whatever routine you repeat becomes the one they rely on. If you’re bouncing your baby to sleep every night, expect that they’ll need that same method at 2 a.m.
The takeaway: be intentional about what you want them to learn.
Crying Is Communication — Not Always Distress
Crying is a baby’s first and only form of communication. It doesn’t always mean something is wrong. It’s the only way babies know how to express hunger, overstimulation, discomfort, or tiredness. A little fussing is just your baby’s way of releasing energy before settling into sleep.
Understanding different types of cries and learning to trust your instincts is key. A short whimper is different from a distressed wail. Sometimes, not rushing in gives your child the opportunity to work through it and fall asleep without intervention.
That doesn’t mean you leave them to scream endlessly. It means you give them space while staying present and responsive. Instead of rushing in at the first whimper, give it a minute. I often suggest a 5-minute timer to observe whether your baby is escalating or self-settling.
Letting them try isn’t cruel, it’s confidence-building.
Try This: Set a 5-minute timer before responding to a mild cry. Often, they’ll settle before you need to go in.
Routine Builds Confidence
Children thrive on predictability. When bedtime follows a consistent routine, it creates a sense of safety and trust. They know what’s coming next. That decreases bedtime resistance and helps the body recognize it’s time to sleep.
A typical routine might look like:
- Bath
- Pajamas
- Books
- Cuddle or prayer
- Into bed with lights out
Whatever your routine is, keep it short, simple, and repeatable.
Click here for visual routines that you can download today!
Temperament Plays a Big Role
Not all babies are wired the same. Some are naturally easy-going, while others are sensitive, active, or highly alert. These differences influence how easily a child transitions to sleep.
For example, sensory-seeking or sensory-sensitive kids may need extra input (like white noise, a sleep sack, or a heavy blanket) to settle. Understanding your child’s temperament can help you tailor your sleep approach with confidence instead of frustration.
For more on sensory type read my blog Why Your Toddler Hits the Baby: Understanding Sensory Seeking Behavior and What to Do About it
Sleep Expectations in Our House
All three of my kids started sleeping 12–13 hours at night and napping 1–3 hours during the day from around 2 months through age 4. It didn’t happen by accident. It took structure, routine, and lots of observation.
Sleep begets sleep. When babies and toddlers nap well during the day, they sleep better at night. Skipping naps to “make them more tired” often backfires.
Research shows that consistent napping supports memory consolidation, emotional regulation, and brain development.
If your child fights naps, that doesn’t mean they don’t need one. It means they may need support building the skill of winding down.
Looking for idea’s on how to help your kids calm and connect read my blog Play with a Purpose.
You’re the Leader They’re Looking For
It’s okay if your child doesn’t want to nap or cries when placed in the crib. Going to sleep, especially for children with separation anxiety or big imaginations can feel like surrendering control.
That’s why your leadership matters. You’re not being harsh by sticking to a routine. You’re showing them that sleep is safe and expected.
With consistency, they learn to trust the routine while you learn that rest is a gift worth protecting.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need a fancy course or a perfect method. You need clarity, confidence, and consistency. Sleep training learning— whatever form it takes in your home, isn’t selfish. It’s a gift to your child. You’re teaching them how to rest, regulate, and grow.
And when they sleep better, so do you. That makes you a more present, patient, and peaceful parent.
Want to learn about Sleep Tools That Actually Help: What I Learned from Pacifiers, Swaddles, and Tummy Sleep
Need more support helping your little ones back to sleep…Join the waitlist for a 1:1 Session
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