They say it takes a village, but these days, most mothers are handed a daycare brochure instead. This is the story of what it really costs to commit to raising my own kids. In a world that tells you to hand them off.
I had the degrees. The experience. The earning potential.
When it came time to decide how our family would live, we didn’t choose what was easy. We chose what was eternal. This is the story of sacrifice, conviction, and the quiet strength of choosing presence over paycheck.
I Didn’t Give Up My Career, I Redirected It
My master’s degree didn’t come easy, I earned it through hard work, long nights, and the belief that it would give me the life I thought I wanted. Yet, when I held my first child in my arms, no academic title, salary, or workplace recognition could compare to the weight of that responsibility or the pull of that calling.
So I re-directed my energy, my education, my ambition toward home. Toward raising my own kids. Something no one else can do but me.
There are plenty of women who return to work, and some who must. This isn’t a judgment of them. It’s a reclaiming of the fact that staying home is not a failure, not a step back, and not the abandonment of your potential. It’s the redirection of that potential to its most formative place: your family.
People don’t applaud when you walk away from your career. They don’t throw parties for the mother who stays home. I didn’t stay home because I had nothing else to give. I stayed because I knew exactly where my giving was most needed.
What the World Doesn’t Tell You About Sacrifice
Living on one income is not for the faint of heart. You won’t have the new car, or the fancy vacations, and you may have to learn to do and fix things yourself. It also means learning what matters. Seeing abundance in your children’s laughter instead of in your bank account.
Sacrifice is a holy endeavor. It sharpens you, strengthens your marriage, and forces you to depend on God in ways comfort never could. It models for your children what love looks like in action. In a culture that glorifies outsourcing, raising your own kids becomes a quiet, radical act of love.
No one says on their deathbed, “I wish I had spent more time away from my family working.” Many will regret not being there for the moments that mattered most.
Why the First Three Years Matter
As an occupational therapist, I understand the science of child development. The early years are not just important, they are foundational. Emotional regulation, attachment, and the building blocks of mental health all begin here.
Children are meant to be nurtured by their primary caregiver, ideally their mother, in these first years. It’s about connection. No one will ever attune to a child like their mother can. That bond shapes their nervous system, their sense of safety, and their self-worth.
Your child doesn’t need a diagnosis to benefit from your presence. Every child needs connection, not just the ones who struggle. A large meta-analysis of 66 studies (N = 4,176) confirms that maternal sensitivity is moderately but significantly associated with secure infant attachment, which predicts better emotional, social, and cognitive outcomes. (Study linked here)
A Word to Young Couples
Plan now for the life you want later. Don’t build a lifestyle so expensive it robs you of the freedom to raise your own children.
To the young women:
Wanting to be a mother doesn’t make you weak. You are not behind for wanting to build a home and raise your own kids. This is not a step back, it is a step into your highest calling. Go ahead and further your education, it doesn’t always have to be the most expensive college that puts you into debt for years to come. The access to education is endless these days, we live in an abundance of information and creating new pathway’s to earn a living. Choosing to stay at home doesn’t mean we stop learning, my education has been vital in raising children and I do not regret it.
To the young men:
Strong Men Build Strong Societies
The idea that masculinity equals toxicity is one of the most damaging myths we face today. History shows us time and again: societies crumble when men abdicate strength, responsibility, and leadership.
Real masculinity isn’t about aggression or dominance for its own sake, it’s about protection, provision, and being the backbone of family and community. In other words, It’s about courage to face hardship, discipline to stay the course, and humility to serve others.
Young men, you are needed. Your strength shapes not only your home but the very safety and future of society. Weakness isn’t the answer. Avoiding responsibility isn’t freedom. The world needs men who stand firm in their purpose and lead with honor.
The destruction we see when men reject their role isn’t a failure of masculinity, it’s a failure to live up to its true calling. If you want to be the leader of your home, build a life where your wife can breathe. Don’t expect to raise strong families if you can’t sacrifice for them. (Click here to read an interesting article on solving the masculinity crisis)
The Gift Hidden in the Struggle
Yes, it’s hard and lonely sometimes, but the depth of joy, the closeness of your marriage, and the character forged in you and your children through this choice? That is priceless. To be able to raise your own kids, is a sacred gift that we naturally are built to do.
Faith has carried us through. We don’t have all the things the world says we should, but we have peace, purpose, and each other. Sacrifice didn’t make our life smaller. It made it more sacred.
Finding Purpose in the Everyday Moments
This isn’t about judging anyone else’s choices. It’s about remembering that you still have one. Culture may try to convince us that a woman’s value lies in how much she earns or how high she climbs. However, I believe it lies in how deeply she loves.
Every diaper change, every sink full of dishes, every meltdown on the floor, this is where connection is built. This is where the foundation for future resilience, trust, and confidence is laid. Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child shows how early, responsive caregiving literally shapes the architecture of a child’s brain.
I know that raising your own kids won’t earn you applause, promotions, or a bigger paycheck, but it will build something far more lasting.
In truth, there is a quiet revolution happening. One mother, one home, one child at a time.
And I’m honored to be part of it.
While the world may see less—less income, less luxury, less status—I’ve found more. More joy in the ordinary, gratitude for what we do have, and clarity about what truly matters.
In short, I used to spend money chasing fulfillment. Now I live with less, and somehow, my soul feels full for the first time.
🧾 Free Download: 5 Smart Steps to Make Staying Home Possible
Practical steps to help you prepare now for a future centered around raising your own kids.
Related Reading:
👉 Why Having Three Kids is Easier Than One
👉 How Grace, Gratitude, and Faith Changed My Parenting
👉 The Rise of Homeschooling: Why Families Are Reclaiming Childhood, Faith, and Education
As Always follow along @forged_by_grace on Instagram for free parenting tips and tools.
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